Those who can, Do. Those who can't, teach.

whats wrong with me?!?!

I give max advice on what classes to take in college and what to avoid and I fucking have the worst schedule with no excuse except that im to damn lazy.

I yell at a guy i completely love to not go to the military because school is worth going to and getting over with and tell him to just suck it up, study a little and find the college that works for what his major is (because he knows what he wants to be) yet I can barely pass any of my classes, am doing miserable GPA wise, and have lost almost all passion to even go back into the godamn school's building and have no idea where i'm going with a major.

I tell my friend she can get into the college of her choice (which accepts very few people at a time) and that its worth putting time, effort and money into the portfolio because its the first thing i have ever heard her talk about and sounding as interested as she sounds and amazed, yet i can barely pass anything, put very little effort into the things I actually care about and forget the things I have to do; and i know how hard competition is out in the world.

im a hypocrite and i'm going to stop giving advice and trying to persuade people to go about things certain ways. I can't dictate anyone else's life considering i barely know whats going on in mine.

and mere suggestions always make the person feel pressure.

Full of broken up knowledge on topics. Thats all im good for. & even that is dumb.

Maybe i'll be a teacher. Then I can lecture people and not care what they think. I'm up there to do what I'm doing. End of story. They can't make me feel to miserable about it.

what's the point?

what's the fucking point.

Update:

Sunday, October 8, 2006:

I have no fucking idea.

Fuck You All.

-12:44

To tell someone you think you love them, after almost a year and a half of petty bullshit and a very bad relationship.

Then only to learn how bad of an idea that is.  And tell them you Know you're wrong.

Then. To tell someone you truly love them.

Only to break it off two years later.

Take my hand Break my stride Make me smile For everytime I've cried Hold my heart In the palm of your hand Don't listen to it breakin' Just listen to the band Do you wanna ride in my car Its parked out on the street Or just stay with me a while Before I fall asleep Take these tears Wash your skin I'm havin' trouble breathin' Since you walked in My hands are tied My head is reelin' My eyes have cried A million tears From wishin' you were here All my life I've welcomed pain I've made up more excuses To bring it back again Now I'm here And I'll drink to the shame I'll drink to the madness That made me this way

Currently Reading: Something for Nothing: A History of Gambling.
By: Alice Fleming

living well is the best revenge.

And we don't notice any time pass
we don't notice anything
we sit side by side in every class
teacher thinks that I sound funny
but she likes the way you sing

Tonight I'll dream while in my bed
when silly thoughts go through my head
about the bugs and alphabet
and when I wake tomorrow I'll bet
that you and I will walk together again
cause I can tell that we're going to be friends